Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- "If You Want to Gather Honey Don't Kick Over the Beehive."
Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
Criticism only leads to resentment from others.
Father Forgets by W. Livingston Larned.
Dealing with people, we are dealing with creatures of logic, emotion, bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
2.The Big Secret of Dealing With People
Dr. Dewey "the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important."
Desire lead to a poverty-stricken boy read law books found at the bottom of a barrel. Lincoln.
Appreciation lead a boy who was blind to listen to catch a mouse. Stevie Wonder.
The difference between appreciation and flattery? One is sincere, the other insincere. One comes from the heart out, the different from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other is condemned.
One of the most neglected visited of our daily lives is appreciation.
Principle 2: Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- "He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way."
Principle 3: First, arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
1. Do This, and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Book reference: Alfred Alder What life should mean to you.
Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people
- A Simple Way to Make A Good Impression
Principle 2: Smile
- If You Don't Do This, You're Headed for Trouble
Jim Farley found out his or her complete name and some facts about his or her family, business and political opinions. He fixed all these facts well in mind as part of the picture.
Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweet and most important sound in any language
- An Easy Way to Nicole a Good Conversationalist
Be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested.
People you are talking about are more interested in themselves and their wants/problems than in you and your issues.
- How to Interest People
Talk to people about what interests them. By doing this, they will be interested in you.
Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person's interest
- How to Make People Like You Instantly
Principal 6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely
Chris taught me a lesson I will never forget - our deepest desire to feel important
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
1.You Can't Win an Argument
Principal 1:The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
- A Sure Way of Making Enemies and How to Avoid It
Don't tell people they are wrong and try to convince them otherwise. Although they may be wrong, by telling them that, they will rebuke or be inspired to defend themselves.
Principle 2: show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, You're wrong.
3.If Your Wrong, Admit it
Principal 3: if you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- A Drop of Honey
Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way
Rather than arguing, start by complimenting or speaking about something of interest. Then,.discuss your issue.
- The Secret of Socrates
Principal 5: Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately
Getting a yes, loosens up the other person's perspective. It becomes easier to get what you need. However, getting NO leads to more difficulty in changing that person's mind. NO elicits a response of pride even if they know they are wrong.
- The Safety Value In Handling Complaints
Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of talking
People love to talk about themselves, let them.
- How to Get Cooperation
Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
- A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You
Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person point of view
- What Everybody Wants
Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires
I don't blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you, I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.
- An Appeal Everybody Likes
Principal 10: Appeal to their nobler motives
Please don't say your right their wrong, instead use sympathy and pull on their heartstrings.
- The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don't You Do It?
Principal 11: Dramatize your ideas
Merely stating the truth isn't enough. The fact has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic.
- When Nothing Else Works, Try This
Charles Schwab "The way to get things done, is it stimulates competition. I do not mean in solidarity, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel".
Principal 12: Throw down a challenge
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arising Resentment
- If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin
Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation
- How to Criticize band Not be Hated for It
Principle 2: Call attention to People's mistakes indefinitely
- Talk about Your Own Mistakes First
Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
- No One Likes to Take Orders
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving orders
- Let the Other Appear to Save Face
Principle 5: Let the other person save face
- How to Spur People On to Success
Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation band lavish in your honour.
- Give a Dog a Good Name
[[Shakespeare]] said, Assume a virtue, if you have it not".
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct
Principal 8. Use encouragement. Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct.
- Making People Glad to Do What You Want
Principal 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Effective leader guidelines:
- Be sincere. Don't promise anything you can't deliver. Concentrate on the benefits of the other person.
- Know exactly what you want the other person to do.
- Be empathetic.
- Consider the benefits the other person will get from what you suggest.
- Match those benefits to the other person's wants.
- When making an ask, do it so the person has the idea it will benefit them.